I will do that
How it all started
A year ago I stood in front of the dairy free section of our local grocery store humming the refrain of a classic Meatloaf song, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”
We do this to ourselves as parents over and over again–we tell ourselves that we’ll never to this, or I’ll never to that, and what do we find ourselves doing? That very thing. I remember a dear friend giving up greens because they made her baby gassy and thinking to myself, NOPE. Never ever going to give up food for a baby–that’s why the universe made formula.
And yet there I stood. Choosing between flax milk and pea protein milk and wondering how the heck do you even make coffee with this stuff, and does flax milk go well with eating crow?
Making the dairy free change
In the span of a few days my diet shifted significantly–I did a modified total elimination diet, and ultimately gave up dairy and soy cold turkey since they seemed to be the most problematic trigger foods. And let me tell you, this shit is hard–even the most supportive people in my life questioned this decision, and events that revolved around food were simply painful to get through, especially when folks wouldn’t make the time to understand the realities of our food restrictions.
But then something amazing happened–my baby got better. All of the crazy symptoms simply eased up or went away all together. He started to smile, and coo, and interact with us instead of being curled up in discomfort all day. He still ate every 90 minutes on the nose, but it wasn’t a frantic feeding frenzy every time either. I saw results, and it made the sacrifice worth it.
There are so many diets and lifestyles out there that are so helpful for folks suffering from autoimmune diseases, allergies, and the like, but the communities surrounding them are often fellow sufferers. The most difficult thing for me about this diet was that the benefit was not for me–it was for my baby. If I ate something that had hidden dairy in it, it wasn’t me who would suffer, it was my child. And let me tell you–that adds a whole next level of anxiety out there. Cheating on this diet was never an option, and the responsibility of it often times felt crushing.
But it is doable, and even as we teeter on the end of this journey as a requirement, I know I’ll never go 100% back to dairy or soy–my baby doesn’t feel particularly great if it sneaks into our diet, and now I don’t feel as well when we eat it.
If you find yourself here starting on a restricted diet, solidarity, sister! It’s tough, but you can do this!
My top six essential tips on being dairy free
- Become a label reading gansta. Don’t be fooled by pretty labels or even complacent in shopping in the organic almond milk section of your store. Casein protein and soy are in so many things you won’t even think about unless you are hyper vigilant. Read every label, every time.
- Learn the different ways dairy and soy are listed and referred to. I was mortified a few weeks into my journey to realize that the protein shake I was using every moment had dairy in it. I was so focused on looking for “milk” in the ingredient list, I neglected to look for whey protein.
- Education your family and support system. Easier said then done, but make sure you find advocates in your family to share your struggles with, and get them to help especially at family gatherings. My mom has been that person for me–she banned dairy and soy from our Christmas dinner this year, and the results were still delicious, and it meant I could eat, without question, anything on the table. I was so grateful, and she made a difficult situation delightful.
- Connect with other mama’s dealing with this too. This lifestyle can feel very isolating, so finding others dealing with the day-to-day grind of this diet is clutch. The best cases are finding others you can see in real life, but I found great community on places like Facebook and Instagram, and there is great solidarity amongst these groups of women.
- Find something in your new wheelhouse that you just love, and keep it in stock. For me, my coffee in the morning is sacred, and I missed creamer like whoah. After much trial and error, I found that NutPods creamer was the closest thing I could find, and I loved it. Our local vegetarian store carries it, and I keep it in stock here at the house because it makes me happy. Finding new happy foods helps make giving up some of our old favorites bearable.
- Eat marshmallows. I would often joke that this diet was either super clean, or crazy in sugars. But Boy Howdy marshmallows saved the day. Dairy, soy, and almost always gluten free, really the only top 8 allergy in these bad boys is corn. And if corn is not an issue for you, let yourself indulge in these sweet gems–they truly help.
